Here we are. The baby is there, as you no doubt know, and she is being talked to.

With all the good advice from the books (see biblio section) in mind, my first word to her was in German. (No, I won’t tell what it was, that’s just between the two of us.)

I also remembered a colleague telling me that she had trouble speaking her mother tongue to her baby, French came just so much more naturally, she said. Like me, she has been living in France for years, her husband doesn’t speak her mother tongue, but neither does her mother speak French.

I didn’t want to fall not that trap. Once you get into the habit of speaking a certain language to your child, it’ll be hard to break it (the habit, of course). Yet French does come more easily in certain situations or on certain subjects, even more so when you have just spoken French to someone else, like the Daddy or the midwife.

But I’m stubborn, and my mind had been firmly set on this for more years than I have even known the Daddy. So I have stuck to it during this first month, with the occasional slip quickly repeated in the correct language, but on the whole without any incidents.

When you are alone, it’s no problem. Sometimes when very tired (which is your regular state during the first weeks) you might slip and mix up languages, but that’s perfectly normal, nothing to worry about.

My main worry at first was how the hospital staff would react if I spoke German to my baby while they were around to show me how to, say, change a diaper or giver he eye drops or whatever. But I quickly realised that I needn’t be troubled there, they were perfectly fine with it. Some would ask “What language are you speaking to her?” And when I replied “German”, I would get “Oh, you’re German? They are good in soccer, did you hear they beat Argentina 4:0?” (This was in the quarterfinals of the World Cup. Germany was beaten in the semi-finals but went on to make the third place. Not that I care very much.)

I also noticed I wasn’t by far the only new mommy of foreign origin – my room-mate’s mother tongue was some African language (I didn’t ask, she wasn’t too well), and next door was a family of Portuguese origins, and that’s only those nearby. I guess the nurses and midwives are used to hearing languages other than French.

Now we’ve been home for almost four weeks, she hears German from me and French from her Daddy and her granny and the other occasional visitors, as well as the paediatric nurse at the Mother Infant Centre. But my dad has already come to see his grandchild, and he promised he’ll be back regularly. One more German voice in her life. (The nanny is French too.)

 So what’s the conclusion?
Make up your mind and then stick with it. Like breast-feeding in public, you might get the occasional remark, but when you know that what you are doing is what you want to do, and it is the right thing to do, you can just ignore those people. I mean, this is your child, your choice, and who are they to meddle anyway?

Just remember that the choice you make (again like breast-feeding) will be difficult to reverse – if you speak the other language to her (or start giving bottles for non-medical reasons), it will be tough to get into the habit of using your mother tongue (or breastfeeding). And it will influence your baby’s life (the language in a more obvious way than the feeding though).

Off into second month now. 🙂